The wind chimes

It was a beautiful Sunday, the third weekend of January. The sun was not visible, and the clouds looked gloomy, but the day was special to me for its memories.

It was the day when I felt butterflies in stomach for the first time. A day when a new set of emotions, never experienced before, swept me off the feet. And the perfect kiss sealed it all. He had gifted me wind chimes wrapped in a cute box. My first gift from him. And the last too…

I was busy preparing tea for the Sunday evening, when my daughter came running to me, with a box in hand, screaming,
“Mummy, look what I have found”….

She opened the box and took out the wind chimes, its sounds filling in my roaring in my kitchen..
“Papa has brought this for you as a surprise!”. The small note addressed to me revealed the sender and also brought a smile on my face…
“He will be surprised to see that there is nothing for him to gift you now!!” She continued with a chuckle.
“Shall I put it on the curtain rod, mummy?”
“Yes dear, you can, but be careful…”
“Okay mummy, Papa is going to be fooled today!,” she kept on laughing, excited and amused.

The tea was bubbling making it darker, while I watched her in action with my mixed emotions. I kept reminding myself that the past is over.
And all that was left was the sound of the chimes

The #PadmanChallenge

The first time I heard of Arunachalam, I was so inspired to do a blog post on his TED talk. And now, when a film has released based on his story, I am happy at how the Bollywood is changing and welcoming sduch issues into mainstream cinema. The #PadmanChallenge may evoke weird expressions from many of us, but that’s exactly is the issue we are facing. I hope soon that, condoms and sex education be the next taboo topic Bollywood would address through its films. Yes, we are in the 21st century, but the discrimination still remains in many parts of the country.

I remember growing up with such a huge hullaballoo on this topic. Much before sanitary pads were used, I was introduced to old clothes too. Sanitary pads were sneaked out secretly from the grocery bag. The periods and menstruation topics were discussed in code words and in hushed tones. We were not touched by others as were considered unpure those days. Only after taking head bath on specific days to purify ourselves were we allowed to touch others and wardrobes. Not entering temples on those days are an altogether different level of customs and rituals we were forced to. This is much prevalent custom, which I cannot comment on, as it borders around religion and temple culture. It was such a big thing to be on your period, that it gave me the impression that being born as woman was a sin. Continue reading →

90’s mania

These days I am addicted to this young love story of the 1990s on Sony TV. “Yeh Un Dinon Ki Baat Hai” is a Hindi tv show that attracted me because of the 90’s songs used as background songs for the scenes. I should also say that love stories, especially the falling in love part, really attracts me. Not that I lose interest in the challenging part of staying in love, but rarely do we see the portrayal of real difficulties on Indian TV shows.

So this story is set in 90s which reminds me of many things of my childhood, the crushes, the infatuations, the strained relationships of family, the gossip of women, the antenna and television, the music in cassettes and many other small nuances of old era…you get the drift? I am reminded of the times, I helped Appa in making the television signal clear, my yearning for a walkman, the wish to collect cassettes of my favourite music, the hesitant communication with parents about our deepest fears and feelings etc.

It also reminds me of the young crushes and innocent love we experience at that age. The mere touch of a boy giving goosebumps to hugging being equating to seeing dreams of marriage with that boy. It was so naive during those ages. Isn’t it? Where marriage dreams were on high gear even before we started dating. In fact, words like dating or divorce were considered influence from western countries for which we were looked down upon. Wearing of jeans or imitating western wear was a complete no-no.

I realize at this point, that studying in a girls only convent school, had painted a dramatic painting of relationships between man and woman in my eyes. The restrictions from the family, the loneliness from schools, the dreams inspired from movies, all misleads us enough to expect much more from relationships. Reading this post reminded me that I am not alone in forming fairy tale notions in my head around marriage and love. We start dreaming of “happily ever after” assuming there is not much issues at all after the initial integration phase. The high expectation levels clouds the view to notice the small happy moments happening and appreciate them. As much as I try to outgrow from the fairytale ending and look at life practically, I doubt whether I can ever break free completely from the smoke of judgement-mindset that is deep rooted in my minds.

Meanwhile, my current playlist is set to the popular songs of 90s in the voices of Kumar Sanu, Udit Narayan and Alka Yagnik. Cherishing and reliving the nostalgic memories in this season of love. How about you? How is the valentine season treating you?

Being a couch potato

I do watch TV shows, either on the good old TV or viewing them online on hotstar, youtube and other apps. Is that so cringeworthy?

Recently, in a tweet chat by blogchatter about the 90s, I realised the first thing that many people remember are the TV shows like Chitrahaar, Mahabharat, Ramayan, Alif laila, Krishna by Ramanand Sagar, Byomkesh Bakshi, and many others that were popular few decades ago. Since there were not many channels, they had to include all categories into one channel. This meant that there were not much drama shows like today. In those days, it was okay to watch television as it was an entertainment medium. But now, when I say I watch Indian tv shows, people start mocking me, claiming that it’s useless to watch saas bahu serials all the time.

Everywhere I have seen people bashing homemakers or women at home, berating them of watching mindless stories and crying drama through television serials. How hypocritic it is to watch English films on Netflix or spending huge amount to watch films like Bahubali and other high budget films on theatres or watch 10-12 players running around a ball or tossing them out of stadium, when you look down at others who watch television. There are people who may cannot afford to go to theatres to watch these films or do not have the subscription of Netflix or access to movie websites, or neither have any interest in sports and news, and have to suffice with the entertainment provided by the television.

In my younger days, I too used to do the same, as there was very less outing as family or with friends to watch films in theatres. Our quota of movie came from the 4pm Sunday movies, or the film festival being aired on festivals, especially during Onam and Christmas. I remember watching Titanic Premiere during one of my Christmas holidays. I remember being called out to the kitchen exactly when the painting scene came too!!! Though, I realized it quite later why I was called away from the TV! Continue reading →