Therapists, counsellors and life coaches seem to be flourishing in recent years. It means people are accepting and prioritising their mental health which is a positive news. But few hesitate to water this health goal as it’s expensive compared to the physical fitness (we have 3 cult fit centres within 2 km radius). All these years of self exploration has taught me just one thing – self, self and self. It may sound selfish and the old generation will discard it for the same reason but it has its merits for personal peace.
Whenever you crib and complain that your parents or your spouse are not being understanding or that the boss or colleagues are troubling you, it’s called victim mentality. I realise why it’s so hard to shift the perspective because if we take up the charge we are responsible for everything. In every session we are reminded how we are responsible for how we react or how big our expectations are and how we cannot let go of the past or how we hold onto beliefs etc.
Once the anchor is set to you, and you are able to accept the problems then the real work starts. The analysing of all hidden feelings till now, what they were and why it came, why did we behave in the past that way, what’s the underlying root cause etc. It’s fun only if we can set aside our egos which would be the first step of course. The self help books preach the same thing (Louise Hay books) but its like watching too many videos on healthy eating vs eating healthy on your own. Or watching yoga videos and thinking, “oh that’s so simple” and actually experiencing the muscle pain when you practise the same.
The effect is very gradual and that’s one of the reasons therapy doesn’t seem to work for many or takes longer. Unless we are mindful every moment it’s hard to catch the behaviours we do on autopilot. And every session is very expensive. Finding a connect with the person you talk to is equally hard as you have to get really comfortable with the other person. It’s like forming a friendship. Sometimes it doesn’t work out and you can figure out that you are just another income which they seek for.
After all this what we get is just a bit of peace because life keeps changing. New situations, new people around us, new challenges and sometimes same old problems keeps surfacing. We may end up going back to square one at times but every time the journey becomes more easier to come out since we already know what to do. Yet that li’l peace of mind is so strong that you are now able to surf the rough sea of life more calmly…