I stumbled across a reel on Instagram today on Arshad Warsi revealing how he feels comfortable doing nothing. It reminded me of another video on Joey from Friends (Matt Le Blanc) saying the same thing in an interview. All this while I have been wondering whether I was wasting my time being at home, and the restlessness that comes out of this confusion is unbearable and inexplainable.

Being productive is a yardstick which gets measured from your childhood. Playing is not productive while studying checks the list. Similarly for watching TV, movies, or playing video games. I think the criteria for productive activities is based on the measurable outcome. If you get good marks(study), or money(job), or improve your health(workout) its productive, otherwise not. Maybe we are not able to measure the qualitative results that comes out of having fun and entertainment in life. Owing to survival instinct? Just like how the kids retort these days( in every generation), “but we are not living in your ancient era, mom”. That sounds true too. Why are we still clutching onto those outdated mechanisms?

Have you observed how the retired elderly spend their times? Most of them keep themselves occupied with religious activities, or travel, or catching up with relatives and friends. And most of them keep worrying about time running out too. As if they have lots to do before the final call arrives. Do they think they didn’t their life fully till now? The struggles of earning money, creating a family, and establishing their role in their ancestral lineage – aren’t those enough for them to constitute a fully lived life? They think they want to travel the world, but whose dreams are they? Do they distinguish between the feelings of FOMO and their own dreams? When Appa spend time sleeping most of the time, I only miss the time he could spend talking or engaging with us; no complaints that he is being unproductive. Or people who are bedridden, they worry themselves that they are being a burden on others. Do their lives doesn’t matter at all? Why are we obsessed with human beings being useful all the time?

Recently, a conversation stirred up the hornet’s nest in me regarding how I am contributing to the society. Unlike this online persona I have of being a chirping bubbly tweetbird, I can now accept that I don’t have much social life neither a friend circle. The question then arises of what meaningful contributions I do to my relationships, apart from my family. The cynic in me often believes that unless you are a saint (not the new-age ones), every relationship is born out of one aspect of survival instinct – to feel connected to the society they live in. Isolation is brutal. And if there was a way to feel connected without giving anything away in terms of time or money, people would opt in happily. Haven’t you all seen the charity contributions that saves their taxes? Even temple donations come out of the belief that God would return the favor.

Meanwhile, the moment I think being Vele is okay, the restlessness in me vanishes away. Like an imaginary rule is passed that everyday is a Sunday. Yes, this comes out as a privilege indeed, no denying that. But with all the privileges, is it morally wrong for person to enjoy the life in their own terms, entertaining their mind, and nourishing their soul with fictional stories as in books, movies, shows or with fun playing games, exploring cafes or experiences. Wouldn’t that be enough if its enough for me? Yes, there are people who love being occupied because they connect with all those activities. If you can respect them doing what they like why not accept people who do nothing much too because that’s what they like to do. Why the partiality? Or is it that I am taking it too personally and overthinking? Maybe no one is thinking about me like that. And maybe it’s time I too wholeheartedly accept the Sanu ki attitude.