Help yourself?

The initiative of marathon blogging which sort of became my inspiration last month, could never be done. And then, when I thought it lasted, they started the Project 52, to post atleast one every week. More than returning to blogging to release my cumulative feelings, there is one more reason I really want to do this.

Over the weekend, N slept early one day, allowing us to catch a break free movie, English Vinglish. The movie was good, but what strike me was the resemblance. The way she wanted to help herself. It seemed that the dialogue was told by me to myself. Many a times, being at home, when you really feel the urge to do something, I just lose my heart. Sometimes, the question maybe what to do, and sometimes, it may be which one to do. And then I end up doing nothing, with the overwhelming thoughts bogging me and my mood down. The problem then starts. I lose my patience easily, and sometimes even end up shouting or spanking N. And then the retrospection phase begins and ends up with decision to do something the very next day. The cycle always continues.

I suppose, if not being productive or creative, I should atleast release the built up thoughts either in the form of a diary or a blog. The former has the privacy advantage, while the latter has the chances of any feedback or response to boost you up. I am picking up the latter for the time being.

Let me see whether I can help myself.

Day 2 – Rants on Xmas

N has started talking a lot. And I mean a lot. It amazes me how they catch words without we ever knowing it. They say, between 18 and 20 months, they learn language very fast and can say upto 50 words! She has started forming sentences too and can say ‘no’, ‘yes’, and all native songs that we have been singing to her. Especially the action songs. Finally, its the parents and the grandparents who has to learn all the songs and lyrics to entertain her.

Since December has started, I have also placed the X’mas star and a small xmas tree. The star has been a ritual from my childhood, and I remember how my father would stand on table and draw wires out to hang the star. After coming to my new house, I wanted to follow the same routine. Of course N enjoys the lights from last year itself.Long back, baking was not done in everyone’s house, especially non-Christians, and hence we would buy cake on X’mas eve just to celebrate Christmas.

Last year, I started a new ritual for my house. We bought a mini xmas tree and also decorated with stars, bells and round balls and illuminated with light. N was just 8 months old then, and still could enjoy the lights. This year I have repeated the same, but she has grown enough to understand and call out star, tree, balls, lights and everything. I did another first last time, and it was to bake a cake, that too in a pressure cooker. I remember doing it in the middle of the night, but not sure, whether on 25th or so. The excitement was great and I enjoyed the whole process. This year also I planned to do the same. Lets see how it goes that week.

Among other things, I am trying to be active on twitter and foursquare, finding restaurants and reviews, places to hangout amidst the preparations of moving out from cocoon of baby mother to regaining independence and hanging out to places we couldn’t in the past 2 years..

The first day…

Sometimes internet is very kind. They introduce you to a cool group of like-minded people which may take years to find in reality. Even if their lifestyle doesn’t match with ours, there maybe something in common, over which we can talk about. Be it the bloggers, food, or craft, or technology, and now motherhood.Continue reading →