Thoughts on Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother – Book Review

When the book, Battle hymn of the tiger mother by Amy Chua, was released, it created sparks on internet and in the newspapers. I remember reading in the papers vaguely on how the author was criticized for her revelations on her style of  rearing up her children. The new edition of the book has some post notes on it, describing what she went through the interviews and the feedback she got. It also contains letter from her elder daughter published in the Huffington post.

I had pinned that book to my reading list, since I thought as an Asian counterpart I could relate to it. And then, every mother feels guilty at one point or the other for being strict on their children, just as I did every often.

The real life story perceived in the book was more extreme than I imagined. Forcing a child into learning something which is common and traditional in the family may be natural for some parents. But it requires deep determination and grit in from the parents,  to dive deep into the ocean race, along with the child and pushing the child to extreme limits to swim to the shore, just for attaining the first position.

The initial chapters contained many instances of detailing into learning of piano and violin. It also references music by famous musicians like Mozart, which kind of makes it feel over the head for a person ignorant of western music. But the intentions are clear, though sarcastically humorous.

The last chapter was more on teenage rebellion and the conclusive remarks regarding the style of parenting. Though the book has an expected ending, there are details and references, with the support of practical examples, in making you realize the importance of adaptability and prioritization.

Overall, the book is an easy read, reinforces the message to the mothers, to be guilt-free, and that irrespective of the parenting style, every mother thinks alike, that of better future for the children. This book at Rs.350, is over priced for me and  I would rate at 2.5/5.

Diwali dhamaka – Sparks from the past

The people who know me well and heard me talk, thinks that I can have a great career by being a lawyer, but I do not think so. I mostly come up with analogies during arguments to pacify myself or to seek a justifying answer or for a solid support to my statements. It also does not mean I love debates or arguments.

I remember scribbling lot more in the past, and today, was searching through the pieces I wrote regarding human beings, relationships, and their behaviour and found these ::

Relations of life

On God and Religion

Women are weaker??

Relation between women and serials

Shayari

Short stories

I realize  now that my writing has to be improved a lot, and that I am writing at times, using stupid silly words. Some has a huge wordcount and got me bored within one span and I plan to read some of them slowly to understand my naive thoughts. But I am still wondering how I ended up writing those poems and stories. Was it really me, etc..

How about you.  Which are your favourite posts from your blog?

Tale of PBM

I love paneer. The first dish I tasted in a restaurant, on officially going out for lunch in college (when someone gave a treat, of course), was paneer butter masala. And I literally fell in love with it in the first sight. Thereafter, whenever I go to a north indian restaurant, the side dish or the starter has to be paneer. It used to be precious item bought from the grocery store, along with fancy sauces, when I wanted to splurge. I know, you can make it easily at home, but I just have not tried it yet. Recently, as the cooking hobby is creeping onto me owing to my food loving husband, I wanted to do the most common dish, PBM (Paneer Butter Masala).

The first time I did at home, I did it on last Saturday. Inspired by Masterchef Australia, I kept my egg timer at 60 minutes, and started off with a bang. But at the end of 75 mins, I ended up with a dish that was not creamy, but sour and bitter to taste.

The next day, on a Sunday lazy morning, when I was emptying my pans for the cooking maid to clean, I saw the mixie jar atop the mixie, with flies flying in all directions just like the pigeons on one of the famous junctions in Delhi . It was the cashew paste I forgot to add to my experiment, the day before.

The next time I did PBM was yesterday. I finished it in a jiffy within 40 minutes, without referring to the recipe. The previous day, I had planned to make Aloo and paneer tikkis in the evening for my kid, but there was no salt. And by the time, I got few spoons from my neighbour, the chit chat started  and went on and on. So to go along with PBM, I had stuffing for parathas ready.

Thus, on October 24th 2013, we had an awesome dinner with restaurant style parathas and the fatty creamy paneer butter masala with a dollop of butter.

Unrealized friendships

Everyone has one of those dark days. The times spent gloomy and not feeling good, you know. I have it often. Most of my days are spent in retrospection. One of the many ways, I get back to blogging is by thinking on some thoughts or experiences in the past and then weaving more and more thoughts on them. Writing a post has uplifted my mood in many ways.

I remember in 2008, after I came to Bangalore, and was at home, without job, I was so eager to make contacts, and get into conversations. I was so active in twitter, and also tried back to back blog posts, so as to relieve my mind of unwanted thoughts. I read many blogs based in Bangalore, and sent them appreciating mails. One of them immediately responded, and we started chatting up, and ended up calling up. She has grown so popular and has even started a brick and mortar store now in Bangalore. And though I know, she is extremely busy in her new passion, I sometimes have wished to be part of  or one of those lively gang of friends, the updates of which she posts on Facebook. But, something hinders me from being too personal, maybe its her busy life or her popularity or my diffidence, but the relationship seems to be stuck at formal.

Talking of the gang of friends, takes me back to the college days. After studying in a girls only school, I was eager to make new friends in college as well. I cannot explain the reasoning, but there are times I felt that the opposite gender can make very good friends. A good example is a marriage in which you treat each other as best friends. It doesn’t mean they should be the only one. I do have a friend from the school days, who has been my best friend till date. In college, I realized that leg-pulling can ruin many emotions. I am not sure whether its the narrow mindedness of a small town, but every time I spoke to a boy classmate, there were giggles, unwanted eyes watching our body language, and then the subtle hints in the every conversation afterwards. There were days I wondered where I went wrong, and why I cannot make the friendship advances to the people I wanted to be part of my circle. And thus, there were many such unlucky(??) people from those days.

This also hindered my mind from growing broad. The ripples of this after-effect haunted me in my initial workplace too. I have lost many relations owing to the fact that I could not respect and appreciate the purity of friendship in those precious times of my life.

After I moved to Bangalore, very few people called me. Almost nil. One more important aspect I then realized. The investment of time and effort to keep the relations alive. This was another tip from my mother. At this older age, she is so busy on phone, I wonder how she could get so many friends. She revealed that most of the times, it was she who made the call. The famous blogger turned author, Preeti Shenoy, too talks of the same, on how to invest in creating friendships.

***
This post was a result of her TOUCH writing prompt, based on her forthcoming novel, The One You Cannot Have.

Film Review – The LunchBox

Lunch box had a great rating in the initial week. And so I had great expectations when we went to watch it last Saturday evening.

The start was great, captivating and intriguing. The conversations were sharp and meaningful. The emotions in the words and some of the scenes gnaw at your heart, asking you to reflect your philosophical and emotional take on living life. The photography well captured the fast life of Mumbai. There were no songs or background music which diverted your attention.

Those were the positives. A great theme indeed for a new director.

What I didn’t like was some missing links and the ending. There was no visible efforts of a daughter-father relationship in a failing marriage, or on why there were no conversations at home. I felt more importance was shown on the lonely man (Irrfan Khan), and how his heart is melting down after each letter, though personally, I felt it was more about the housewife seeking some desperate measures, rather than emotions of love. If one young daughter could invoke the feelings of a family in a lonely man, how could another daughter run away from a mother who lost his husband and son and does not have any one to turn to. On the ending, I would have preferred to have more clarity and clues to think about rather than the abrupt full stop. Overall, the second half was bit dragging and kinda boring.

Nevertheless, as I said before, good theme, good take on emotional loneliness without all the clutter, which is so good to have in a Bollywood movie. A one-time watch at home with a rating of 3.5 out of 5.