[Blog Carnival] Fears

Everyone has fears. One who says he is fearless is lying. They are more brave and willing to take risks.

No, this is not an ad for the green colored bottle of drink. These are just my thoughts. If they are similar to the ad lines, maybe then there is a bit of truth in them.

When Corinne gave this prompt at Everyday Gyaan and Write Tribe, the sound of opening the corkscrew of a bottle was heard in background. The bottle of secrets. A call to my inner soul asking to reveal its fears.

From childhood, my biggest fear was the losing of family. Losing my parents. The fear of being all alone among the crowd in this dangerous world. To some extent, its quite true on a day-to-day basis. Thankfully, I have a happy family, and both sets of parents are alive, but there are moments, when I still feel lonely among the crowd. And though I like it, I do not want to be trapped in further. As Vidya aptly says, interaction does benefits me always.

On retrospection, many a times I have not risen up thinking that I am not brave enough, or I don’t have the skills, say a singing competition. Then I realized its not about the skills, but the fear of public. The fear of what will others think about me. The fear of being judged. We have been conditioned to keep up a good image about ourselves in others minds, but we fail to learn the lesson that however hard we try, we cannot change the perspective of others. We cannot change the way they think and make them accept us the way we are.

And then the fear of doubt, the self-critic, which is a big hindrance to whatever I do. The uncertainness of my life is attributed to that self critic who keeps criticizing whichever activity I do. If I go to parlor, I say myself, I am wasting money, and doing something which I don’t deserve.

Then there are the fears of unknown. Not the real unknown, but things like,

fear of driving the car, though I have the license, because I don’t know, what is going to happen if I lose control…
fear of wearing western clothes, because I could imagine the stares from the local people and I don’t know how I would feel if I get groped…
fear of the dark and traveling alone, because of which I do not venture out in the evenings, as I fear someone is going to attack us…
The fear of being branded a house wife. The fear of my precious time being wasted. The fear of not being a good mom, wife or daughter…
The fear of not being the best…
The fear of uncertainty in life…

The trench of fear is bottomless…

I would rather not go deeper, because I fear the thread to the top will get cut in the process, and I will be trapped in the darkness.

Snap it now!
Its not worth brooding over the fears…

Write Tribe

Candle light march in Bangalore

When the event for Candle light March at Freedom Park, popped up in my Facebook events, I noticed that the timing is at 7pm. And my smile vanished.I had been told by the photography club Light Trails, that its a good event to attempt photo journalism, but the timing was a hindrance to me.

The first thought was whether it would be safe for me to venture out late into the night on Bangalore roads. How am I going to come back after the march. Will the buses be safer? Was it safe to walk to my home from the bus stop? What if it gets more late, and I don’t get any bus.

These thoughts then started igniting another fire in me supporting the cause, and tempting me to become part of it. The sole purpose of the protest was to showcase the same safety issues troubling women during the after hours and the same questions asked above… The battle was raged inside me between the real woman and the coward inside. And finally the real one won. And I am thankful that I went to the event. I held the candle only for few minutes, as I had the camera with me, but I am glad that I was part of the march.

This event started off, when the rape of a six-year-old girl in a well known school premises, came to light in mid July. The school authorities tried to hide the crime and did not accept the responsibility of the safety of the children. This led to widespread campaign by various organizations in the city. This candle march was organized by YWCA, Bangalore.

Movie Reviews on Highway and 2states

In search of inspiration, I always end up either reading books or watching movies. Last week, I saw 2states and Highway. These were pending in my list from long time. Among the two, Highway swept away my heart to a dreamland, and I have never come back since.

2 States

2_States_poster

I started watching 2 states online, though not in HD quality. Since I had read the book, I knew the story, the characters and the ending. I had not much expectations anyway. Hence any watchable quality was enough.

A couple of things did not went well me. I mean, how could they film a Tamil Brahmin “pennu kaanal”(meeting the girl) without even a single necklace on the girl’s neck! It never happens. And how can a tamilian speak Hindi so fast! The song of the character was pitched on an entirely wrong note. The “besura“(absurd) voice was heard again, when the male character, the protagonist, who was painted all shy and “seedha saadha” started dancing for the cousin’s wedding… There was also a clichéd south Indian dance during that song. I wondered whether the screenplay would bring in any changes for the hero to fight off a newly introduced villain at the end, like in the yesteryear films. Thankfully it did not happen. The main crux of the film, being the father-son chemistry and how it got reconciled, was never shown clearly. I missed a long sentimental dialogue from the father. I missed the fiery amazing performance by Ronit Roy which he was capable of, as if his role was wasted.

I loved Amrita Singh. She was the total Punjabi mother everyone would love. Arjun and Alia needed some more polishing in their acting skills. There was some amazing photography stills towards the end. The song Chandaniya and Mast Magan kept ringing in your head, even after I finished watching movie. The songs are the only plus point I found in this film.

Highway

Highway_Hindi_Film_Poster
The film blurb is very short. Its the journey of how Veera, the rich girl transforms personally when she travels with her kidnapper, Mahabir Bhati, through the roads of Delhi, Rajasthan, Punjab and Kashmir.

The visuals are simply great. I miss watching them in the big theatre. They reminded me of my trips to North India, Rajasthan and Badrinath.

Along with the music of A.R.Rahman, the film journey becomes a virtual long drive for the viewers itself along with the main characters. The character sketch of both Veera and Mahabir did confuse me. Though I have heard of Stockholm syndrome, the portrayal was more meant for movie rather than realistic. The film makers have always enjoyed showing the positive side of the villains and this is just one of them. Of how poverty and social status can turn pure hearts into cold blooded criminals. There is also the weaving of dreams, getting out of comfort zones, and emotional personal events fitted during the pitstops.

Randeep Hooda fared much better in his acting and dialogues. The character of Mahabir Bhati is more interesting than Veera, as it has several shades, and the actor portrays them all beautifully. As expected, this has been Alia Bhatt’s best performance till date. The character was portrayed as clumsy and quirky, compared to other people in captivity, but that maybe exactly what the director, Imtiaz Ali envisioned of Veera.

The songs, Maahi Ve from Rahman and Sooha Sooha are the key takeaways of the film. I have noticed that, the songs of A.R Rahman merge into your soul, only if you watch it along the film, and not separately. And it also grows on you. There are many songs of his, which I never liked in one hearing, but which has grown on me after hearing multiple times.

Which are the recent films you saw? Share it in the comments..

Monsoons

Rains…
It brings forth,

The memories
Of droplets and its smell,
Of the drenched feeling,
Of the wet clothes
Clinging to the soul.

The vision
Of hot tea and bites
Of black umbrellas and raincoats
Of couples clinging
Together beneath

The colors of
The grey clouds
The dark greens
and the monsoon reds

Monsoon red

Book Review – The One You Cannot Have

I had previously read all of the books from Preeti Shenoy and had loved it. Hence when this book came out, I was very eager to buy it. But the theme of ‘unrequited love’ and ‘moving on’ did not appeal to me. Two weeks ago, when I ordered few easy-read books for inspiration, I ended up buying this book.

Blurb:

How long does it take to heal a broken heart? Can you ever forget that one perfect relationship you had? Anjali knows who she wants, she wants Aman. Aman too knows who he wants, he wants Shruti. Shruti and Aman were once inseparable. Theirs was a love that would last forever and more. Then, out of the blue, Shruti left Aman. A devastated Aman moved abroad in the hope of forgetting Shruti and to heal. Shruti married Rishabh. Now Aman is back in India and looking for a fresh start. But he is still haunted by memories of his love. Can he ever break free from it? His head tells him to move on, to find love with Anjali, but his heart wont listen. No matter what he does, Shruti’s shadow looms large. Can there be a happily-ever-after for any of them? A straight-from-the-heart modern-day romance of unrequited love, of complicated relationships and about moving on when you realise that there will always be the one you cannot have.

Continue reading →

The Roadblocks of Blogging ride

I have already blogged about writer’s block before, here and there. But the Write Tribe community has asked to do it again, and here I am. The prompt actually made me introspective, asking myself my fresh and current take on the subject. I realize that main reasons for not blogging is indeed the overwhelming activity of other bloggers who blog daily and churn posts within hours on a given prompt. Especially after the A to Z challenge where I found alarming number of Indian bloggers creating awesome posts, where as I was struggling to catch up daily. So was jealousy the reason? More prominently, it was the self-doubt. I did hinted at it in the previous post.

After finding the reasons, I move to find out what all I do to bounce back.

  • Write on what occupies your mind

Some call it free write, but what I imply is to post about something which you are busy with. Are you reading a book? Blog about it. Were you busy with your kid, husband or other office problems? Rant about it.Taking some photos? Do a photo post. Searching in Google and getting lost in Facebook? Post about it.

  • Get new books to read

Got some 2-3 easy read books to start with and see where the path leads on. Currently reading the latest book by Preeti Shenoy.

  • Watch new movies:

I watched two movies the past week, 2 states and Highway. Both were pending on my list. These days, I am fan of the latest crop of actors. They do fairly well. The scripts are good and ways of story telling is also different.

  • Have conversations to get ideas

Some say opportunities do not come to people who sit idle. Inspired by Jaya Narayan whom I met few months ago, I started asking on Facebook forums for some leads on whatever I was stuck in. Be it photography, or something else. You may get some answers or sometimes none. Either way, its worth a try. Facebook should be useful once in a while, na?

  • Take new easy projects

I started off July photo challenge in Instagram to see whether I like photography challenge better or the writing one. I had done the latter before, and wanted to see whether I enjoyed doing photo challenge equally. The medium of phone photography was a relatively easy way to start with. I can always summarize them into blog posts later. If you are twitter freak, you can compile the important tweets you made or the links you shared into a blog post.

Leaving you with a Hangout video conducted by SHEROES on writing career. You may not be looking at writing as a career, but there are plenty of advices on writing principles.

Note: The video is good only after the initial hiccups which goes on for first 12-13 minutes, so be prepared for it.