A visit to the library

 

Today I had a mood upsetting argument with the librarian……

Without revealing much, I can say I may have taken too much liberty in breaking the rules as the library was completely empty as it was a weekday afternoon, 12pm to be exact. I retracted my steps as per the rules, but left the place with an agitated mind.

I realized later that, what irked me was not the actual rules but the way it was told to me. I was made to feel guilty of doing a grave mistake and not cooperating with her. Human beings are born with a curse of ego which when touched upon, can cause wars.

I am at an age where I am slowly understanding the intricacies of the art of communication. How it impacts others and how the effectiveness of using words and sentences can turn the conversation direction to better or worse. I was of the belief that the emotions and intention mattered more than the actual words, but now I realise I maybe wrong.

I so wish I could convince her properly how we both were equally right and wrong and could have veered the conversation to an amicable solution rather than blackening the dark clouds… …..

The road to home

 

The road to home…..

There are times when I feel I am at the same crossroads again and again like a dèjá vu. The point of intersection where I am confused at which path takes me home.The spiritual home wherein the peace and contentment lies.

I had to return back the foster dog just because I couldn’t handle the additional responsibility. Now it’s safe in another home on the rural outskirts of Bangalore…

But the question remains of whether I need to give shelter to another one. To get the love, I need to spread love and open my wings, right? How do I convince my ruling mind though?

That the path it chose maybe right enough, but the home is just a house and looks bland. That I need to fill the house with colors of love to make it a real home………….

The learning curve

Most of the days, I wake up with an aim to send the kid to school before 7. And with no other plan for the day or for the life thereafter. It may seem living in the moment, but its also discouraging at times to have no plans for the future. The first retort would be the quote “plans are disposed by the Creator”, though it definitely helps to have some sort of outline to live through the days and months.

That’s what I believed till few months ago. I kept reading on finding passion or women getting back to work, or something to get involved with. I started trying my hand in different fields but stopped at everything. What I realize now is that, its not that important to have passion or having a career, but to have some activity to get involved with, to make your life more worthwhile. And for that we need to keep moving on the path we see now. To dare to do things which you feel like doing. Living the life in itself can be the biggest learning experience.Continue reading →

Dancing away the blues

One of the many recent changes I have embraced are the dance classes which I started over a year ago. I never thought I would be grappling with less stamina or body stiffness and other health issues, but I realized I need to take some action. I started off by going gym, which I stopped midway, then did a trial yoga, which I couldn’t connect with, tried zumba classes which was too exhausting for me to start at that time and time consuming for weekends. So I started searching classes during weekday mornings when N went to school which led me to this Dancewithme Studio in East Bangalore.Continue reading →

Blues and Greens

 

It seems there are the usual blues and mean reds but for me there are the seductive greens too….

For some it would be the nature and travel but for me it can simply means to get out of my cocoon…

…To understand that the moody blues are okay and happens to all and hence nothing to hide….

…To destroy the invisible mean red walls I built around myself under the pretext of baseless fears….

…To accept my behaviour as transparently as green and not pretend to like what someone else is doing out there……….

 

Handwriting therapy

Writing can indeed be cathartic..I realised this in my teens, pouring out my troubled thoughts and questions in a secret diary hidden from family. Or writing the school and college project reports with the exquisite pens I stole from my father's trunk... ...Now that the answers are slowly getting clear, I no more have entries in diary that frequently. As laptop or mobile has replaced as the primary tool for everything, I now miss the handwriting part. The pressure of the fingers squeezing out every pain of your mind and releasing all the twisted emotions......Today I had that urge to write something and wondered what to write. Finally copied these words I found on Instagram few days ago. ......#handwriting #writingtherapy #akbphotography #akbmelange #nofilter

 

Writing can indeed be cathartic…

I realised this in my teens, pouring out my troubled thoughts and questions in a secret diary hidden from family. Or writing the school and college project reports with the exquisite pens I stole from my father’s trunk…

Now that the answers are slowly getting clear, I no more have entries in diary that frequently. As laptop or mobile has replaced as the primary tool for everything, I now miss the handwriting part. The pressure of the fingers squeezing out every pain of your mind and releasing all the twisted emotions……

Today I had that urge to write something and wondered what to write. Finally copied these words I found on Instagram few days ago……..