The Saturday Night Date.

He watched her with overflowing love as she ate her favourite food, chocolate ice-cream. He kept sipping his iced tea and nodded his head as she spoke non-stop blabbering about how her week went.

He slipped into flashbacks of how they had danced on the streets with big shopping bags on their first date.
They both enjoyed these dates planned by her.
“So, shall we plan the next date for Saturday night, Dad?
“Any time you wish, my big girl!. ”

After the heartbreaking divorce, he could never say no to these little moments of joy, his biggest source of happiness.

Awakening from an empty nest

Few days ago, when I left my young one at her grandparents’ house for the vacation, I was perplexed at the mixed emotions. On one hand there was the freedom, which I have been so longing for, allowing me to fly away and do things which were restricted by the presence of a young child, but there was also the guilt that I am keeping a young child away from her mother.

Hours later, I was proved totally wrong, when she called on my mobile phone, to let us know of her busy schedule throughout the day. Not hearing an inkling of even a tiny bit of missing from her part, the reality dawned onto me slowly, that its us parents who long for the children than vice versa.
I could slowly sense the shaken feeling of every mother whose child has flown away from her nest or has a grown up child. The mere existence and meanings of life are pondered about in seconds, when we recenter ourselves and allow the dust to settle again at the bottom. Continue reading →

Lessons from the #BreakingBarriers Bangalore event

When I first heard of Breaking Barriers event by Women’s Web, I thought it was more of a business marketing event not suited for homemakers or on a career break like me. Being an intern at Women’s Web, I was asked to report for the April 1st event at Bangalore and help the organizing team. Having worked for the team, I knew about the registration list and knew that there would be more that 80 attendees in Bangalore from all sectors. So on Friday evening, I was still worrying about the next day event, wondering what to wear since it has been quite a while I dressed up properly for an official meetup. On Saturday, along with other attendees, I was fortunate to listen to the speakers who shared their learnings and experiences in their career journey.

The first thing that striked me was the echoing voices of , “Hey there,I too have been there, done that, So you are not alone”. From body shaming issues to that everlasting mommy guilt, or the return to work struggles, women kept sharing some snippets of their life, that made an instant emotional connect with me. Continue reading →

On Mira Rajput’s Puppy Analogy

Ever since Mira Rajput started receiving flak for her comments, my Twitter timeline is flooded with blog posts and links regarding the issue. Some of the articles were literally bashing her for her privileges of being rich, or being married to a celebrity and all. Meanwhile, my heart is going out to her as I think I could understand where her statements came from.

Now many would say, being a stay at home mom myself, I am plainly taking sides with her. I am not at all taking any sides. What I could see as a third person was the hullabaloo about a single word “puppy” among women.

Yes, she made an analogy of puppies. But I don’t think she meant having babies is like having puppies. I too make analogy for clarifying my opinions, and this mostly leads to arguments in my house too. Obviously the other person picks up on the analogy rather than the actual discussion and the point gets completely missed.

Similarly, women are missing the statements Mira said while supporting other homemakers. Never in the interview I found that she was accusing working women of leaving their babies at home. Women make the choice of being at home not only because there are no other options, but also, out of their beliefs that they need to be with their child all the time. This doesn’t mean working women are at wrong. When we say, freedom in being single or live in relationships are better choice at times, it doesn’t mean married couples are stupid. Supporting one ideology need not amount to negating other ideas. And now the new move of Mira’s previous classmate is equivalent to keeping the fire alive in the forest.

This is not a new incident though. Women supposedly plays a bigger role in hindering women empowerment. They are the first ones to gossip about other women, and by gossip they mean stressing and spreading the negativity around. The #LogKyaKahenge attitude has stemmed out of women shaming other women for their choices. If a woman starts seeing men in teenage years, she is never encouraged. If she is not married, women do not support her, but would rather come up or make their own reasons and deficiencies as to why she is not married yet. If she leaves her baby home to focus on career, she is called selfish. If her focus is on family life, she is considered privileged wasting her education. And so on and on…

Isn’t it time to stop berating each other for personal opinions? Isn’t it better to work towards the betterment of our lives, rather than counting the mistakes? The following line perfectly sums up the situation.

Jio aur Jeene do.