Finding the right shade of lipstick

Have you seen women going crazy over a shade of lipstick? As if you haven’t seen red anywhere else? Or purple or coffee brown? I have seen them. Young and bold. Strange nutcases in sephora shops and the likes. Trying and removing again and again. Looking for the best match…

The young salesgirl trying her best to see the products to the customer.. How boring it would be to keep bragging about the makeup products and apply them on the visitors.. Knowing that one of them is just using the samples before buying them online, she still has to fulfill the duty to achieve her dreams. Maybe it was the only job offered to her last month… She too was finding out the right colors to paint her dreams too.. To get hold of that evasive commissions if she reaches her target… Though a meagre amount, it would be her biggest achievement…

What if the customer is someone who hasn’t ever been worn makeup apart from lipstick… What if she aspired to look good for a reason.. Inspired by the glossy attractive colors adorning the models and and enhancing their beauty, she would have come to test it out… To feel better and dress up for boosting her self confidence.. To blend into the crowd just like the foundation they talk about… To conceal her flaws which she knows but wants to hide in public…. Though for a few minutes, to live the life she dreamt of….

Every lipstick too would have their own story. On how the color was developed, on who created it, and the proportion ratio of the ingredients to give out the color. The factories where they were made. The hands behind the machines it was created in. The sweat and hidden struggles they heard from the workers while they were worked upon. Though short-lived, every lipstick product would be having a different name and identity…

Have you noticed the philosophical aspect to this? Women trying to find the right shade of lipstick. Though men maybe finicky at times to get the right shade of jeans and trousers, they never seems to have issues with colors as much as women. How many men would understand the subtle difference between pink and fuchsia? Or blue and turquoise? I believe their minds give more attention to form and function which is important too.

I watched Lipstick under the burkkha today. Reminded me of Sita’s Curse book and the hype it created. Like the book, the movie was dragging at many places. I wish they added more to the storylines. I wish they had explored more on how they found the right shade, rather than showing the repeated failures and attempts on fulfilling their dreams. I always hate loose endings, especially if there is no new takeaway from the whole story. The portrayal of hidden desires is very well depicted and throws lights on the present living conditions of women in smaller cities in this era. It also reminds me of the times, when I too found books hidden under the bed, at one of our relative’s house in Kerala. So its real, indeed.

Every woman is in the search of the right shade of lipstick, some prefer it nude, and some bright red. But the search is always there. The remarkable dialogue that touched me to the core is the one said by Leela,

” You know what our problem is? We dream too much.”

Are we really? I don’t think so…

Adding to your life

Today, in a casual conversation at my dance classes, I was asked where I work.

“I don’t work,” I gave my usual reply.

” Oh.. So you are a house wife…”, came the retort instantly.

I merely nodded. Though I did notice the smirk on his face. Maybe he didn’t mean it, but the mere thought of someone judging me based on what I do, lowered my respect a bit towards him for a few seconds.

Afterwards, I pondered on what troubled me at that instant. Found that it was not the other person, but my inability to validate myself in front of others. The years of conditioning of society around us has made it difficult for us to accept an off beaten path. The trail of questioning on life and our self worth triggers all the emotional upheaval ruining our moods for a while. Then we get up and start walking again shaking off the dirt, as time moves on.

I still cannot fathom why we expect human beings to keep earning. Isn’t living life more important? The small green plant above in the pic, spreads so much greenery in the sand park we visit most days.

What if every human being maybe adding some beauty to this world unknown to themselves or others? How will then it matter, how long did it take to grow to become this beautiful? I don’t have the answers to why I made the choices in the present or the past or to what are the future plans. I like to believe that I am working inwards to grow beautiful to whoever glances upon me.
Be it for a brief moment, tempting others to click my soul image and save in their memory…

A visit to the library


Today I had a mood upsetting argument with the librarian……

Without revealing much, I can say I may have taken too much liberty in breaking the rules as the library was completely empty as it was a weekday afternoon, 12pm to be exact. I retracted my steps as per the rules, but left the place with an agitated mind.

I realized later that, what irked me was not the actual rules but the way it was told to me. I was made to feel guilty of doing a grave mistake and not cooperating with her. Human beings are born with a curse of ego which when touched upon, can cause wars.

I am at an age where I am slowly understanding the intricacies of the art of communication. How it impacts others and how the effectiveness of using words and sentences can turn the conversation direction to better or worse. I was of the belief that the emotions and intention mattered more than the actual words, but now I realise I maybe wrong.

I so wish I could convince her properly how we both were equally right and wrong and could have veered the conversation to an amicable solution rather than blackening the dark clouds… …..

The road to home


The road to home…..

There are times when I feel I am at the same crossroads again and again like a dèjá vu. The point of intersection where I am confused at which path takes me home.The spiritual home wherein the peace and contentment lies.

I had to return back the foster dog just because I couldn’t handle the additional responsibility. Now it’s safe in another home on the rural outskirts of Bangalore…

But the question remains of whether I need to give shelter to another one. To get the love, I need to spread love and open my wings, right? How do I convince my ruling mind though?

That the path it chose maybe right enough, but the home is just a house and looks bland. That I need to fill the house with colors of love to make it a real home………….