The morning sun splurged through the windows. The sun light awakened both of them. He got up lazily checking the time on his watch, which was lying on the table. Though awake, she remained in bed, watching him gathering up his scattered clothes.
He closed the door without a sound and went out. The table, which carried his watch, now contained few notes of five hundred…
She got up finally and went to her dressing table. The mirror reflected a stranger today. There was something different on the face. Was it a glow? Or the aura of profound knowledge of the truth which cleared her conscience and clarified her doubts…
Slowly, she took out the razor from the drawer and ran it over her wrist. Blood and pain disfigured her face to nameless expressions. Dipping her finger in the pool of blood, she placed it over the forehead and drew a long line. Happiness and satisfaction brightened the aura around her. And then she slipped to the ground, motionless…
Beautifully written, but I think it is kind of incomplete. would love to read more stuff like this
incomplete??? i thought it was complete! 😐
Entammey….. Chumma pedippikkalle sakhave!
enthonnu pedippichoo nnu???
That’s a pretty weird open ended post! I like the narration though… it still remains without a conclusion!
open-ended?? et tu?
Nicely expressed.
thanku!
Awesome story, chechi!! Very short and poignant. I am impressed, I truly am! 🙂
Detailed Comment:
* “He got up lazily checking the time in his watch, which lied on the table.”
It’s “lay on the table”, not lied on the table. The watch doesn’t tell lies to the table. 😉 Not a very serious mistake, but for a writer of your perfection… you ought to take a bit more care, chechi. 😀
* Question of interpretation: Why did she choose to die? Because she realized the truth or because she realized what she does was immoral?
* Please… please don’t promote suicide! 😉 Just joking, chechi. 😀
* Next time, do add an aura of mystery. A small suspense at the end. Will work wonders, trust me! 😀
Write more short stories!! You rock, chechi! 😀
thanks!!
*corrected…rather edited.. lay or laid?..so better is editing the whole thing.. 😀
* did not intend to promote suicide, but then everything is fair in short stories!! 😛
*your 2nd and last points are contradictory!!! 😛 questions are the mysteries.. aint it??!
Meandered in from IndiBlogger. A succinct post. Unlike some of the other commenters, I like that it left things unsaid. All said and done, a lot is said and little done. So it is refreshing to see something unsaid and implied..
Is that Lalbagh in your header ?
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Hi,
A very well written blog.Congrats. Everyone heard what you never said, everyone read what you never wrote – and everyone felt the pang of pain without being hurt.
And you have been able to convey so much in four small paragraphs, a mark of a genius, I must say. God bless you in your future endeavours.
Thanks a lot!
loved it 🙂