Yesterday, one of the things that made me smile was execution of a small promise to myself. A visit to the bakery supplies shop was pending from long time, and I finally did it. It may seem what is the big deal to go out to a nearby shop. But for me it is.
I cannot attribute the reasoning to laziness, but more because of apprehension of situations going wrong, even if I know the truth. It takes ample amount of willpower from my side to get ready and get out of the house, walking upto the shop, or taking the scooter through the traffic, or making a fool of myself at the shop by asking weirdly-phrased questions. The difficult part is indeed the getting out. Yet, I have returned innumerous times, driving back fast home to my cocoon, skipping the shop visit.
Is it that important to buy the items offline which would be available online too? May be not, but the emphasis is on completing something I wished. The same goes for dance fitness classes too. There are many days I feel like not going and cuddle up on sofa whole day long. But at times what brings me out of the rabbit hole would be the upcoming programme practice, or my liking for the peppy song being choreographed at the moment, or the high of expectation to see familiar faces and chit chat with them.
Till the recent past, I kept complaining about not having any close friends with whom I can be myself with. It was also one of my new year goals to improve my social life. I was yearning to live an extrovert’s life, but was unable to do so. I slowly realised that I am not an extrovert, and the smile I pasted on my face is because of the social conditioning to “keep smiling” for the friendly image. It was an eye opening thought to accept that its okay to share if you are feeling low, and reply accordingly to the question, “How are you?” or “All well?”
I have heard people labeling persons as “weirdo” because of their conversations and behaviour. But over the years, I realized it is not fair to judge someone instantly. Every person has their positives and negatives which makes them complete and unique for which they need to be respected. Its just that we don’t know the complete picture. Let them take their own time to accept and change themselves if needed for their betterment. Everyone is enduring a battle of their own.
It’s absolutely fine to be oneself. I have had moments when all I have done on a weekend is be in my pajamas and nothing else.
And whoever calls this weird needs better vocabulary. 🙂 keep writing!
There have been days when I too have felt not to step out of home during weekends even for a chore. No I dont call it being lazy. It is just being in my cocoon.
And if people call it lazy, they need a better vocabulary. 🙂
Subha