Lyrics – DHT – Listen to your heart

Roxette “Listen To Your Heart”

I know there’s something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You’ve built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do.
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They’re swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

Listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do.
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can’t find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that’s been
when love was wilder than the wind.

Listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do.
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Listen to your heart, mm-mmmmmm

I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Unknown relations…

I guess this is a very delicate topic to write about, but I am sure all people in this world has gone through the phase of the entangling relationships and feelings, where you are uncertain what’s happening to you and your surroundings. People tend to misunderstand most of the time the feelings of dependence as love, or is it true?
I read the following as quoted in a blog from the book Elizabeth George’s “Missing Joseph” where the woman wonders what love is…

I don’t know what it means to love anyone, she realized. I thought it was goodness, a wanting to share. I thought it meant like you hold out your hand and someone takes it, holds it hard, and pulls you safe from the river. You talk. You tell him bits of yourself. You say here’s where I hurt and you give it to him and he holds it and gives you where he hurts in return and you hold it and that’s how you learn to love. You lean where he’s strong. He leans where you’re strong. And there’s a joining somewhere .. ..

I have heard lots of break ups and past relations of few people. In most cases, they think that its their fault or blame the other. Is it wrong to get dependent and keep expectations? I don’t think so. Maybe you have to learn to accept the reality also. As said in DDLJ film, you may dream and you have the right to dream, but don’t ever keep the expectations that the dream and our expectations should be true and should happen at that point of time. I guess thats the reason for most of the friction occurring in any relation.

Even after these small frictions and official breakups, the feelings never change, only the intensity comes down. And feelings are distinguished by their intensity. The base of all feelings are care and concern for the other, and I guess this never changes in any relationship, even though you start to hate the other or even till the end of their life. Relations never die, maybe the intensity reduces to almost to an unknown level.

As posted by Megha, society do play a very important role in confusing the relations. Age maybe the factor when you are young, but there are other reasons in later part of life, when the relations are disturbed and named something else. And the strange thing is the society includes all the learned people and still they do keep the conventional points and rules at heart.

Boys say girls can never be trusted. They change their decisions any time. Gals keep saying boys are cheaters, and they leave them whenever they are enough of the gals. Both boys and gals are human beings and I guess its in their genes to take risk and immature decisions at certain specified ages. Maybe when you realize these, people say you’ve grown up. We tend to accept the reality and try to live in the practical world, making decisions based on feasibility. Maybe we may not be happy as our wishes has not fulfilled. But we move on to find happiness in what we achieve and receive. Be it professional and personal life. We may do cry like a child at times, but regain ourselves, without anyone to understand us or make us understand. We get to know whats the relations are and their importance.

But still, people do move on, accepting the strange ways of relations and also the society, accepting reality and becomes more “practical”, as they say.
Again as Someone said,

“Everything will be OK in the end, if its not, its not the end…”

Maybe this is what you call life. To live with a ray of hope that everything will be ok in the end…

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to my w810i! It was on this day, last year, which falls on a weekday, at around night 7-8pm with my friend, that I bought this mobile phone, from Spencer’s plaza Chennai for a whooping amount of 22k! Ehem!
It was a long run search for me that time, I was confused whether to go Symbian or not, and had the options of w800i, n70, and then this w810i. To know more about how frantic and desperate I was, you can go through the following threads at various forums (chronological order):

http://www.thinkdigit.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26512

http://forums.techarena.in/showthread.php?t=4655
http://forums.techarena.in/showthread.php?t=28124
http://forums.techarena.in/showthread.php?t=28126
http://forums.techarena.in/showthread.php?t=27863
http://forums.techarena.in/showthread.php?t=34225
http://forums.techarena.in/showthread.php?t=44883
http://forums.techarena.in/showthread.php?t=48785

http://forum.techspot.in/showthread.php?t=1879
http://forum.techspot.in/showthread.php?t=2037
http://forum.techspot.in/showthread.php?t=2199

http://www.techenclave.com/forums/sony-w810i-k800i-etc-vs-n72-77279.html

Not to forget the innumerous chat sessions, and discussions of pros n cons and that n this of various phones and technologies and its usage! bah!

I would really like to thank each one of them who stood by me in the mind battle and did not let me down inspite of my stubborn nature.Thanks to my parents and my mom, who gave the support to spend that much money (:P), Thanks to my cousin who I troubled lot for the same..and last, but not least, thanks to the friend who was with me, arguing and supporting, bearing my tantrums that day while buying the mobile! 🙂

It might seem to be a strange coincidence, but today, I am wearing the same dress, as the same day last year, with those black metal kinda earrings, with only few differences that, I have gone so thin(!!) and also that I don’t have the friend with me anymore. But on a lighter note, I still managed to attain a ‘sent message count’ of 9150 (at the time of blog posting) for the whole year!!! 😀

EDIT: Surpassed 10k sent messages on this saturday, April 21st! 😉

Film review – Sillinu Oru Kaadhal

Last night, I accidently heard the song from the film “Sillinu oru kaadhal”(or is it “Jillinu oru kaadhal!.. bah! I dono!! who cares!). It reminded me of the film story again.

The story goes like this. Gautam(Surya) is married to Kundavi(Jyothika) and has a kid also. A happy family of age 8 years with the usual tensions at times. Then one day, while, Gautam is out of station, Kundavi finds his old diary, and starts reading it. In the diary, he says about his college days, his college love, Aishu(Bhumika Chawla), who is a Telugu girl and daughter of some minister (high position type!) and how they were in love, the happy days, and then finally the decision to run-away and get married inspite of her parents reluctance, and in the end, how they gets splitted up in the register court, cos of her father’s tactics..(Its shown in the film, that by the time, the villain ppl separates the love-couple, the knot has been tied between Gautam and Aishu.) The diary ends with a note, that his sole wish is to meet Aishu just once more.. Kundavi then decides to make the two people unite once more, to fulfill his wishes! And as filmy as it can be, Aishu is shown returning from Australia and is still angry with her father and family. Kundavi meets her up (And provides us a hint that Aishu is still living as Gautam’s wife!). After a stretched drama, Kundavi manages to make Gautam and Aishu meet at their house. The film ends with Kundavi returning back home, only to find a farewell note from Aishu to her, saying that she is thankful to her for this meeting before her departure back to Australia, and also assured her that, she realized from the talk she had with Gautam, that he loves only Kundavi now, and has completely moved on from the past… Thereafter Gautam and Kundavi lives happily everafter!

The film has a happy ending and the onscreen chemistry of Surya and Jyothika was a big hit as always. But the song, “Munpe vaa” portraying Aishu and Gautam of their happy college days is a bitter one, as in the end, its not portrayed what happens to Aishu and how she lives on. Why is that relationship not given that much importance from Gautam’s side? He was rebellious in his college days to break her away from her family and to get married. Why hasn’t he felt or given any thoughts to how she might have been living? Why did he hide the fact from Kundavi? Maybe cos he doesn’t think of it anymore. But if she too had married someone else and had moved on from the past, then we could have concluded its really a happy ending. Here, its absurd!! They say, the time is different, time heals all wounds, all pains… Maybe its true, but what about some scars which never heal? Maybe pains get cured, but how to erase those memories?

I guess life itself is absurd, leave alone the films and stories!!
Peace!

The Bourne Identity

Bluediamond. I registered in the digit magazine’s community forum under this name. I don’t remember now, how i coined this name, myself and my cousin might have coined it together at that time. I registered there mainly to solve the comp queries as everyone do.

I got to know few ID’s, lots of links, softwares, tips, other forums, and also what people do online.Out of the few forums, there was Tech Arena, which was formed from Digit members long back… The community was new, members were few and also known virtual faces. I was like in a community school, with bunch of geeky heads, (of course boys!), and with pretty of information passed around. As always spam was there, new interesting threads were created, people added each other on messengers. The discussions on forums, continued in form of conferences over messengers. I became was frequent in this new forum, while I checked out on the old digit forums too. I got to know people like Andy, Pallab, Neha, Grudgy, Sreejith, Digen, Deep, it_waaznt_me and many more from digit..(It seems these people split from digit and formed Techspot.in)..and large list of people from TechArena including Deejay, QuickFire, Anshul, Masky, Switch, Renegade, Aces, Hooligan, Inzider, IceFusion, Medpal, Sunmysore, Venkat, Bosky, Bottle, Blade_Runner.. the list is huge!!! I was kinda getting addicted to the forums and online community, when another split happened and Techenclave was formed. But stil, the old friends were there, some new joined, some left the gang.

All this to just remind me of my old days. Now thinking of the past, I don’t even remember the forums I joined, I created, I spent time on, I read through, I registered… What am I doing? What were I doing online? It gave me lot new people, gave insights of many world, many views, and also the opportunity to meet different people! But then who am I in their minds? A respected member? A friend? A techie girl? Or a flirt? Or a girl whom you can chat with online for time pass? Some people have said, that these online friends are not at all trustful. They just are chatting with me friendly with the intentions of you-know-what.. Are they?

I went on to the online meets in Chennai, without any hesitation. And there, the “bluediamond” was a odd-girl out among the whole bunch of big guys..To be really frank, I am from a usual conservative family and like all families of young girls, they too were reluctant to my decisions initially. But I still moved on.. But these questions have always been lingering in my mind..Do the people whom I talk to, know who I am? Can they understand me? What do they think when talking with me? What am I to them? Do they also consider me as friend as I consider them?

Sometimes I feel like stopping everything and move out of this virtual world. But then what is good in this real world.. The forums, the sites, the internet as a whole, at times have boosted up my spirits, when I had really nothing to do at home. I had many other options, I may still have, but i don’t think the online life is so long. One day, it will really come to an end, and then “bluediamond” may not be alive.. Only me will be left. Who will be remembered then? Bluediamond or me? Or will I ever be remembered? Lots of people have already moved on. As time goes on, I really wonder, whether anyone would ever remember those (beautiful?) clippings of life where we all were together in the big world of virtual community….

Film review – Swades

Recently saw the film, “Swades” once more. The film is really beautiful, and depicts India and the patriotism very clearly. I do wonder about the NRI’s (not the Non-Returning Indians, but the actual one. 😉 ) who have been staying there for either studies or job; whether they too think the same: to leave the job/studies abroad, and to settle in India.Personally I do like to have a short term onsite job, but not more than 6 months for sure!! Be it for living also I think I’d do the same. I even sometimes miss my home town in Kerala, when I am in Chennai, leave alone abroad!!

I agree, maybe the life is more easier and comfortable than in India, as they are more developed countries. But still, don’t they wish to travel in the MTC buses, and to pass the ticket! (Chennai buses!!) Don’t they wish to ride in the guttered roads and complain it to the person sitting next to you! Don’t they wish to see the natural ponds and lakes in their home town, with fields all nearby, to hear the grinding noise from the mill nearby, to see the children playing in the common playground, to have the tea from the roadside shop, and to watch the raindrops falling through the trees, to have the special home-made food from their grandma’s, and all the (boring) advice from her..(hehe 😛 ). The temples, the festivals, the crowd, the grains, as depicted in a rectangular box in the film. The vibrant colours of India!!

Indeed the song boosts up my spirit levels, the lyrics are so beautiful, and has plain message to people living abroad.

ye jo des hai tera, swades hai tera..tujhe hai pukara…

ye jo bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahi sakta….