Today, I was just going through the archives. I feel that I have reduced penning down my thoughts and feelings. Rather the short stories, movie reviews, articles, recent happenings are the topics I have been blogging off late.
There was a time, when I used to blog, when my mind blew out of the proportion with suffocating words and rants. For me, at that time, I never cared about the number of readers, or the traffic. I blurted out all my thoughts, sometimes directly or sometimes through analogy. I used to finish the posts within half hour or so, and without spell checking or re-reading the draft, I just published.
Now looking back, I feel those posts do have a personal touch and is more readable. Like the innocent outburst of a child. It worked, because things happened at that time. The race with time, the busy life schedule with many many things, the glimpses at various nook n corner of city life which gave spark to various thoughts and views.
I do not wonder what has changed. I know what has happened. And I know what should I do to change. But then, something is pulling me back. Maybe its the fears or the various choices available. The point of time when you feel like slapping yourself for the inability. The time when heart says lovingly to wake up, and when mind pushes it down with the lame and age-old excuses of practicality. The time when you await for your heart and the soul to win over the mind battle. The time when you await the death so that you could be re-born to a fresh life.
People say, time heals everything. It answers the strangling questions you have been asking in the early ages. But then, how do we wait for time until it heals or gives me the answers? Isn’t time running away? From me and from my life?
The vortex has knocked me out into the deep darkness of unconsciousness.
PS: This post too has been completed now within half hour. You do have it in you, when it wants to surmount you.