I guess this is a very delicate topic to write about, but I am sure all people in this world has gone through the phase of the entangling relationships and feelings, where you are uncertain what’s happening to you and your surroundings. People tend to misunderstand most of the time the feelings of dependence as love, or is it true?
I read the following as quoted in a blog from the book Elizabeth George’s “Missing Joseph” where the woman wonders what love is…
I don’t know what it means to love anyone, she realized. I thought it was goodness, a wanting to share. I thought it meant like you hold out your hand and someone takes it, holds it hard, and pulls you safe from the river. You talk. You tell him bits of yourself. You say here’s where I hurt and you give it to him and he holds it and gives you where he hurts in return and you hold it and that’s how you learn to love. You lean where he’s strong. He leans where you’re strong. And there’s a joining somewhere .. ..
I have heard lots of break ups and past relations of few people. In most cases, they think that its their fault or blame the other. Is it wrong to get dependent and keep expectations? I don’t think so. Maybe you have to learn to accept the reality also. As said in DDLJ film, you may dream and you have the right to dream, but don’t ever keep the expectations that the dream and our expectations should be true and should happen at that point of time. I guess thats the reason for most of the friction occurring in any relation.
Even after these small frictions and official breakups, the feelings never change, only the intensity comes down. And feelings are distinguished by their intensity. The base of all feelings are care and concern for the other, and I guess this never changes in any relationship, even though you start to hate the other or even till the end of their life. Relations never die, maybe the intensity reduces to almost to an unknown level.
As posted by Megha, society do play a very important role in confusing the relations. Age maybe the factor when you are young, but there are other reasons in later part of life, when the relations are disturbed and named something else. And the strange thing is the society includes all the learned people and still they do keep the conventional points and rules at heart.
Boys say girls can never be trusted. They change their decisions any time. Gals keep saying boys are cheaters, and they leave them whenever they are enough of the gals. Both boys and gals are human beings and I guess its in their genes to take risk and immature decisions at certain specified ages. Maybe when you realize these, people say you’ve grown up. We tend to accept the reality and try to live in the practical world, making decisions based on feasibility. Maybe we may not be happy as our wishes has not fulfilled. But we move on to find happiness in what we achieve and receive. Be it professional and personal life. We may do cry like a child at times, but regain ourselves, without anyone to understand us or make us understand. We get to know whats the relations are and their importance.
But still, people do move on, accepting the strange ways of relations and also the society, accepting reality and becomes more “practical”, as they say.
Again as Someone said,
“Everything will be OK in the end, if its not, its not the end…”
Maybe this is what you call life. To live with a ray of hope that everything will be ok in the end…