[Blog Carnival] Fears

Everyone has fears. One who says he is fearless is lying. They are more brave and willing to take risks.

No, this is not an ad for the green colored bottle of drink. These are just my thoughts. If they are similar to the ad lines, maybe then there is a bit of truth in them.

When Corinne gave this prompt at Everyday Gyaan and Write Tribe, the sound of opening the corkscrew of a bottle was heard in background. The bottle of secrets. A call to my inner soul asking to reveal its fears.

From childhood, my biggest fear was the losing of family. Losing my parents. The fear of being all alone among the crowd in this dangerous world. To some extent, its quite true on a day-to-day basis. Thankfully, I have a happy family, and both sets of parents are alive, but there are moments, when I still feel lonely among the crowd. And though I like it, I do not want to be trapped in further. As Vidya aptly says, interaction does benefits me always.

On retrospection, many a times I have not risen up thinking that I am not brave enough, or I don’t have the skills, say a singing competition. Then I realized its not about the skills, but the fear of public. The fear of what will others think about me. The fear of being judged. We have been conditioned to keep up a good image about ourselves in others minds, but we fail to learn the lesson that however hard we try, we cannot change the perspective of others. We cannot change the way they think and make them accept us the way we are.

And then the fear of doubt, the self-critic, which is a big hindrance to whatever I do. The uncertainness of my life is attributed to that self critic who keeps criticizing whichever activity I do. If I go to parlor, I say myself, I am wasting money, and doing something which I don’t deserve.

Then there are the fears of unknown. Not the real unknown, but things like,

fear of driving the car, though I have the license, because I don’t know, what is going to happen if I lose control…
fear of wearing western clothes, because I could imagine the stares from the local people and I don’t know how I would feel if I get groped…
fear of the dark and traveling alone, because of which I do not venture out in the evenings, as I fear someone is going to attack us…
The fear of being branded a house wife. The fear of my precious time being wasted. The fear of not being a good mom, wife or daughter…
The fear of not being the best…
The fear of uncertainty in life…

The trench of fear is bottomless…

I would rather not go deeper, because I fear the thread to the top will get cut in the process, and I will be trapped in the darkness.

Snap it now!
Its not worth brooding over the fears…

Write Tribe

8 Comments

  1. We have been conditioned to keep up a good image about ourselves in others minds, but we fail to learn the lesson that however hard we try, we cannot change the perspective of others. We cannot change the way they think and make them accept us the way we are.

    The above lines are so true. and I too like many others was always trying to keep a good image by keeping my mouth shut or toeing in to other’s opinions. Later realization dawned and I am a bit different now. A very honest post and enjoyed reading it.
    kalpana solsi recently posted…bond of friendshipMy Profile

  2. I can relate to your fears so much. I have been a stay at home mom for the past ten years and I think it has instilled more fears just because I’ve been away from the workplace for so long. I understand what you say about the self esteem stuff and being a good mom, wife, mother. We are good enough and our inner critic needs to be kicked out the door. He’s done enough damage.

    Yes, there are certainly many things to be fearful about in life. The trick is to try and keep the fears manageable and live your life as fully as you can and not let the fears control you.

    Thanks for sharing and being so honest. All the best to you and be good to yourself. You’re doing great!

    http://cattitudeandgratitude.blogspot.ca/2014/08/fears-hold-me-back-as-writer.html
    Cathy Graham recently posted…Fears Hold Me Back as a WriterMy Profile

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