Another day. Another year. Another retrospection? Not anymore.
I am done with looking back and setting goals. I do know that this maybe a temporary exhaustion, but I am more driven towards achieving little goals which are more practical.
Say, like being happy or enjoying “today” or a day without any guilt or worrying about future. Or saying yes to various things which I haven’t tried ever in the past just because of my inner beliefs, which acted as a burden on my conscience.
This year, the keyword or the tagline I am working on is “Be You”. That’s the mantra people pour out like a river, on every website or blog or counsellor you hit upon seeking for advise. I find it so hard to implement it when its actually simple.
The #LogKyaKahenge attitude is so ingrained in our lives, that though we want to escape from its clutches, and even if we do after few deep breaths, we could see it pouncing on us, whenever we look behind. I suppose the strength to face such invisible ghosts would come only by experience. Just like how as adults we shake away the fear of darkness. The knowledge that there is no actual “Ghost in the dark” or “Bhoots” coupled with the necessary tactics to drive away or face the real beasts boosts our morale to face these fears. Similarly, until I can wisely ignore all the taunts and the inner and outer voices, with the power of complete silence, I would still stumble. But that’s okay, No?
The kid would join the big school now, and with huge amount of time at hand, I wonder where my life is headed to. I am tempted to enjoy the day one at a time, without feeling the guilt pangs of not attempting to return to work, and try a different route than most others. Why can’t we be life-oriented and not so career oriented?
Call it what you will, incentives are what get people to work harder.
– Nikita Khrushchev
I read a book recently, “A weekend to change your life” by Joan Anderson, which throws questions at women to help chart our life for ourselves. It also advises to collect compliments, in any form.
Don’t we have the first instinct to reply, “Oh, this is not a big thing to thank for.” “Thank you and all not needed ma.” “Why the formality?” etc? I have never ever practised saying “Welcome” much in my life. I remember someone saying “Thank you for calling” at the end of a phone call. I found it weird that time. I think I should have been thankful instead that day, because I could have some chitchat with that person. The importance of such small talk is so visible only in our later lives, when we are alone in the path of life. There would certainly be some moment in our life, wishing that we had some company, atleast on phone.
Apart from these formal compliments, I was thinking on the other incentives in my life. Rather than cribbing about being just a SAHM, why can’t I consider the precious moments of my life with the li’l one as rewards. I know many who crave for such moments. Or when some offline person appreciates me for having a blog, I discard it labeling them as mere ramblings. When the guest see that I used to play Veena and have learnt music in childhood, I waive them off as past experiences. But I never ever bother to nurture them and consider the compliments as inspiration to better my abilities in the present. At the end of the day, when I realized i had too much time at hand, which I spent relaxing watching youtube videos and TV serials and movies, I cringe at myself for wasting the time, instead of congratulating myself that I could find a “me-time” and entertained my mind and soul.
I realized some incentives are not visible, but they are there within the little moments of happiness and peace we give ourselves.
After all, they are our biggest incentives. Aren’t they?