N is growing up. I just can’t get enough of saying that again and again. It keeps repeating in my mind, whenever I see her giving me that mischievous smile, or when hugging onto me, making sad face when I raise my voice, or when trying to stand with support or climbing the stairs and so on.. I have already started missing her babyhood.. And why not, she’s nearing one! Can you imagine.. I don’t know how one year passed away.. I agree there were hard times in between, but there were also the milestone achievement days, when she tumbled over, started to speak, sit and all. I did want to remember all the dates, but in the flow, I forgot to write them down.
Searching for first birthday celebrations online, I found so many people celebrating their young ones’s birthday with so much pomp, that I get jealous. But on second thoughts, I realize the kid would have much harder time that day seeing all the new faces, and going through what would be her/his first real party. Then I read this post, and now I plan to preserve those dresses and other items, till I get a beautiful trunk like this one.
Yeah, the home decor madness has not left me, rather has increased day by day, from the time I have started following Preethi. As mentioned in my last post home decor items are very expensive here, maybe everywhere, if you go searching them in various lifestyle stores. The eco-friendly products, recycled products, and indian handmade crafts turn out to be much cheaper especially in select startup stores, which are increasing day by day in Bangalore. Facebook is a treasure for finding such local people, local stores, and online stores for such inexpensive home decor products.
Another dilemma is regarding work. I could find so many people started working after being mom, but I wonder how they could entrust their child in some other hands. I agree there is a big bonus financially with double incomes, but what about the salary to the maid, cook, or help or day care, and the emotional trauma we give the child? Sometimes I feel I did the right thing, and the next minute, career-oriented educated woman inside me wakes up from nowhere. It starts bashing me, asking what am I doing whole day sitting at home, running behind toddler,fighting with her tantrums, not even looking after myself, and getting mad at not getting a break!
And then, N starts again.. She looks at me so innocently with a twinkle in her eye(really I could feel that, I guess all moms would agree on this), hiding a smile at the corner of her lips, waiting to crawl forward, once I start moving towards to catch her..
That.. answers me…